We all know that time changes everything including education. During our school days things were
far much different from what it is today and a lot of parents today do not realize that. Drop out rates were lower, teachers were not terrified of showing affection towards their students, even though the schools were far from perfect, the teachers and principal still knew each student by name. I came across my secondary school principal some weeks back and she still recognized me, remembered my name and asked of my parents whom she had met many times in the past but such is rare today.
Our public schools are no longer as they used to be; many parents, teachers and individual have taken it upon themselves to create private alternatives to that system and it is important for parents to know that they have many choices of schools so when your child shows some displeasures towards school or you are concerned that your child isn't getting the kind of attention he/she needs or that the school exhibits some techniques and policies that you are not comfortable with. The first rule of thumb is to follow your child's line of contact- this means you need to approach your child's teacher; just by talking talking to the teacher can bring solution to a lot of your worries. Most schools have teacher's appreciation day and this is a day some parents do no like to attend simply because we find it difficult to take a few hours out of our busy schedule visit our children's classes and appreciate the teacher's effort towards our children also through this we can get to address issues confronting our children in class.
Use this opportunity and spend an hour or two in your child's classroom, it will give you a lot of information about your child's teacher and classroom environment, that way you can schedule an appointment with the teacher to discuss the issue one on one; this may end up to be productive, the two of you devise a plan to end the problem and everyone goes home happy, but if the meeting ends up unproductive and the teacher is uncooperative, don't wait until PTA which we parents like to do, your next step will be to go to the principal.
I don't suggest you go there making threats like "I will pull my child out of this school" or raising voices which will be in the end counterproductive. You need to logically address the problem before reaching a boiling point(because sometimes you will realize that the person at fault is your child )rather be specific such as I think my son's teachers style doesn't work with my child. A responsive principal might suggest switching classes especially when your child and his teacher are having personality clashes or if their learning and teaching styles don't match up. But if the principal's solution is unproductive and you see no improvement then you can talk to other parents and also share this during the PTA meetings. Parents have amazing bargaining power and there is real strength in numbers. If you are still not satisfied then you can consider pulling your child out of the school; don't let him toughen it out until the end of the school year, the wrong school can have a lasting negative effect on a child and a year of a child's life is a long time to waste.
So here's is a way to know when your child is no longer happy in his school:
-Does your child say he or she hates school?: If your child comes home everyday saying he hates school, it's not because the child does not want to learn. Children are natural learners, you can hardly stop a child from learning, they are willing to learn anything as much as possible, so next time your child comes home saying he hates school please find out what is going on.
-Does your child hesitate when he gets to school?: I was in Lagos state sometimes ago and I went to visit my cousin, the next morning I followed her to drop her daughter in school when we got to the school, the daughter refused to get down from the car and the mother began to persuade the little girl the girl said to her mother" mummy I have told you several times I don't like school, I want to go to a music school instead". And the same happened the next day and the day after. The girl will say the same thing every time " mummy don't forget I want to go to music school instead" so I had to tell the mother to find out what is going on with her daughter in school.
- Is your child more interested in designer labels and trendy clothes for school?: "Yeah"! I know we call it peer pressure but there is a more deeper issue than peer pressure it is an approach which emphasizes on external rather than deeper values. This causes children to accept a shallow way of acceptance in the society. that child might be having challenges with acceptance among his peers or he has a self esteem problem.
-Does your child complain about how he's being treated in school? Mostly by friends or classmates?- this means you have to address this by meeting with the teachers and the head of school to resolve this issue, some schools do not have a student focused way of approaching conflict resolution and communication which means issues are usually dealt with in a swift adult problem solving manner which will at the end deprive the child the ability to emotionally process and thoughtfully discuss the situation at hand so as a parent you need to make sure you address these issues speak to your child and let him express himself to you, discuss with your child daily at the end of each school period so that you will learn from him areas where he has challenges and find out what you can do to change it.
-Does your child come home looking tired and cranky?: Yes it is common for anyone to get tired at the end of a day's work so it's only normal for a child to be as well, but when it gets too common that this same child gets home exhausted and irritated too often then it's obvious that his educational experiences are not energizing but debilitating. Excessive work load at once can wear a child out, school should not be only about academics-a lot of other natural talents can be discovered in a child by for example having club activities such as music classes, ballet classes, literary and debating clubs etc.
-Stomach aches or diarrhea before school?: this especially goes to the younger ones ( I've had an experience like this with my daughter once) an occasional episode is common for most children but if there's a recurring problem then you might have to check with the school, that might mean something is making him uncomfortable at school.
-Nervousness: Does he sometimes get nervous when you mention anything that has to do with school? Either the mention of his teacher or homework can set him in a bad mood, he might start biting his nails or fidgeting with something.
-Silence: Children enjoy talking about what happened In school most times even when you don't ask them about it they go on to tell you what happened to this friend or that friend and so on... But when your child refuses to talk about school or when you ask him and he gives you singular responses like "how was school today?" And he replies "fine" or what was your favorite subject today? And he shrugs or keeps silence there's probably something bothering him about school you needed to look into.
As schools increase in numbers and parents are searching for that perfect school for their children we sincerely hope that the policies of these schools will evolve to meet the increasing needs of an increasing number of student. However don't wait for that system to change; take responsibility for your child's education, find out other option from other schools and choose what is best for your child.
No comments:
Post a Comment