Saturday 7 November 2015

Let's talk about Sex



   
                                


Hi there, it's been a while right? How has it been with you all? How has it been in general, the hustle and bustle of daily life? I know how it is for those of us here in Nigeria, and how we are dealng with the current political and economic climate but it doesn't stop us from pushing on now does it?.

Talking about the economic atmosphere now in Nigeria, I was in the car with my son sometimes this week we were going to the tennis court, (yes o! I play tennis small small at least we have to keep fit now abi? #tongueout#...Lol). So back to the original story,I was listening to a radio show and the host had an NGO official in the studio talking about HIV/AIDS awareness, empowering the youth and social workers etc, then my son asked me a question I never expected to hear even though that was what was on the radio but still I never thought he was listening. He said : Mummy what does HIV/AIDS mean and how is it deadly? I took time to explain to him the best way I could, avoiding the Sexual intercourse aspect if you catch my drift...lol. Then I realised I (or his Dad) have really never explain to him what sex really mean so talking to him about HIV/AIDS will not really have a deep root in his mind, it's like putting a cat before the horse. Knowing that it is a sensitive topic and not knowing how or where to begin from, I convinced myself that he is too young for such discussion and besides what you don't know cannot kill you isn't that what they say?. As I convinced myself with all these thoughts, one thing I was sure about is that he is now in higher primary, and I know by now he has probably picked up the word "Sex" from the media and his friends so I came to a conclusion that at his age he can handle basic explanation on sex. During our parent's days they never made such a topic an open discussion, I remember how parents used to tell their girls when they get  to puberty that if you touch a man you will be pregnant. Very funny isn't it?  New flash guys that doesn't work anymore. So I did some research and what I found out really set my mind at peace and gave me the confidence to discuss with him. And to my surprise it worked! First things I learnt were: 
-It is best to start talking about sexuality in early childhood, but if you haven't, it's not too late
-Talking to children about sex and sexuality maybe uncomfortable at first but it gets easier with time and practice.
-There are many ways to talk about sex and sexuality.
Talking about sex and sexuality to your child is one of the most important part of parenting, teach them early otherwise they will learn from a wrong source. Research says that children who report having good conversations with their parents about sex are more likely to delay sexual activites, have fewer partners and use condoms and other contraceptives when they do. Yes it's true!, I said it! We can't ignore the fact that it's happening, I'll rather have my child share with me everything happening in his life as a teenager than have him share it with a total stranger. It helps when we deal with topics relating to sex and sexuality when they are young till they are old and wise enough. Sexuality includes a wide range of topics including male and female bodies and how they work, human development, reproduction, types of relationships what makes a relationship healthy or unhealthy, sexual behavior and how to prevent pregnancy and STD. 
Will want you all to take a little break on this, in my next post I will shed more light on 
- When should I start talking to my kids about sex?.
-What kinds of things should I tell my kids?.
- How can I make our conversation more comfortable?.
- How do I answer my kids questions about sex and sexuality?.
-What are some questions preschoolers ask?.
-What are some questions primary schoolers ask?.
-What are some questions Teens commonly ask?.

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